Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Kirin Suika Soda!

Well, uh... who has two thumbs and totally forgot to update this blog for like, two weeks?

This girl.


Sorry to disappoint! I hope to be better at it in the future!!


So let's get right down to it, shall we? The soda that started it all...

Kirin Suika Soda!


Back in early December, Caroline from Spooning with a Schoolboy and I were out in Ikebukuro when we spotted a vending machine stocked with a 50 yen bottle of Suika Soda. I mused that even if it was awful, I'd try it for 50 yen, and thus, this blog was born! The only problem? It was sold out. Whomp whommmp. But I found it again, and at long last, here is my review!

It smells like...

Sniff sniff.

...watermelon-flavored Pop Rocks.

And it tastes like...

The same thing.

...liquid watermelon Pop Rocks!! It's just a little too artificially sweet for me to enjoy it, and there's a weird sour aftertaste to boot.


Packaging: A
Bouquet: B-
Interpretation of theme: C
All-around Taste: C
Final grade: C

Kirin Suika Soda is exactly what you'd expect: it tastes like artificial watermelon flavoring with bubbles in it. The packaging, with its red and green theme speckled with black "seeds" is pretty cute. All in all, eh, I guess it was worth 50 yen, but I still won't be finishing this one, either.

Hopefully I'll see you again soon... but, uh, I've used up my backlog of sodas!!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sapporo Melon Cream Soda

I'm going to start this post by saying I'm disappointed in you.

That's right.

Because... seriously, guys. Why would you EVER think a soda claiming to be "melon float" [and on that note, I am terribly sorry, because I went by the picture rather than the katakana and called it that in error. (It is actually メロンクリームソダ, or "melon cream soda")] would be good?

I... I just honestly do not know what to do with you.

But this blog is here for your entertainment, even at my expense.

So at long last... I cracked open...

Sapporo Melon Cream Soda

Here it is, in all its neon green glory.

And there it is, in all its neon green glory. Let's take a closer look, shall we?

A closer look

It appears to say... がぶ飲み -- gabunomi? According to Google Translate, this means "gulp". So the full title of this beverage is "Gulp Melon Cream Soda." I think "gulp" is pretty appropriate here, because it is what I did in fear when I tremulously approached this drink. But anyway, when you turn it around, there's something on the back!


Mission 2, you guys! ... Alright, I'll bite: what's the mission?



Apparently, you have to... cosplay with the soda??



Really, I'm not kidding - it says "No.1 コスプレーヤー!!" (kosupure-ya-) and then shows this guy posing with the soda and getting his picture taken. This is truly bizarre.

Uh, so, points for originality there, Melon Cream Soda... but I haven't even begun, have I? Time to crack it open... and it opens with a sad fizz that does not indicate anything good. I am scared. Time to sniff it.


It smells like sugared-up ramune. If you've ever smelled normal ramune, you know to make it smell any more like bubblegum would be pretty hard and so this is a smell that that's... uh... pretty intense.

I am so scared.

I am going to drink this.



Oh, oh no.






For those of you who were like, "oh, melon float, sounds utterly charming", I wish I could send you a bottle so you, too, can enjoy this. It's great!

No, I'm only kidding. I don't hate any of you enough to inflict MELON CREAM SODA on you. I'll just send it to my enemies and then go to jail for putting biowaste in the post.



Packaging: A-
Bouquet: F
Interpretation of theme: F
All-around Taste: F-
Final grade: F

Sapporo's Gulp Melon Cream Soda gets high points for its extremely bizarre packaging, and bombs everything else so badly I wish there was a lower grade than F. Grrrrroooooossssss.

I'm gonna hope to high heavens that Suika Soda isn't as much as of a gastronomical disaster as this sugared up sewer sludge.

Forever in your service,

Monday, January 10, 2011

Asahi Green Cola

Alright! Welcome back to your regularly schedule program, folks. I realized I never mentioned that the photos are clickable for larger sizes. They're still not terribly good quality photos, but hey, if you wanna seem 'em bigger, go for it!

With that out of the way... After doing Red Ginger, it seems only right that, for my first review of the new year, I have selected...

Asahi Green Cola

Green Cola

As you may or may not be able to see on the label, Asahi Green Cola totes itself as being "for your natural life". Huh. While the name is written in a Coca-Cola-style typeface, the rest of the label sorta misses the mark. Nothing about this bottle immediately says "natural" "green" or "made with fruit". Oh, and it is made with fruit, because...

Is that like a modern life?

...a closer inspection reveals that "'Asahi Green Cola is made from selected raw materials derived from plants such as fruits, with cola's own dynamism and briskness."

Wait. "Such as fruits"? You don't say.

But really, wow. With a byline like that... how can you go wrong? Well, let's see how they did with cola's own dynamism.

Smells like Green Cola

Smells pretty cola-like. I'm okay with it so far. Let's see if it has that cola briskness.

Glug glug



"Brisk" is not the adjective I'd use to describe it. In fact, I'd describe it as bitterly sour; a sad attempt at cola "flavor" that misses the mark almost completely.

Let's put the lid on it.

So I'm cappin' this one back up.

Ugh. I was kinda optimistic because I do enjoy Japan's take on cola beverages way more than American ones, perhaps due to the cane sugar rather than HFCS usage, and to be honest, the idea of a "natural" soda is pretty appealing. But either way, Green Cola failed it. It was pleasing to the palate for all of two seconds and then immediately went sour. Gross. At least there isn't too much of a lingering aftertaste.

Packaging: C+
Bouquet: B
Interpretation of theme: D
All-around Taste: D
Final grade: D

With its slightly inappropriate packaging and its terrible flavor, Green Cola gets poor marks in everything but the bouquet, which smells deceptively like any other cola out there. Good thing it wasn't any more expensive than a normal soda. I can't recommend this at all.

Next time: I've been promising and promising it, but I will finally crack open that Melon Float! (Am I actually scared of it? Maybe a little...)

See ya!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

A happy 2011, everyone!

It's the year of the rabbit!


What's that, you say? "Sarah, you're a little delayed on your New Year's greeting." Wellllllll, sure, it's January 9th at this point, but I think I have until, say, the 10th to tell you guys "happy new year"!

Anyway, I've been rather negligent because 2011 has been way busy so far! To utilize the 青春18きっぷ, I've been to Tokyo more often than not, it seems, which is a thing I am in no way complaining about. But that's not what you people are here for, is it? You are here...

...for beverages.

And I sure would like to comply, but I am not, as my blog asks, thirsty. To make it up to you, this week I will do not one, not two, but THREE reviews, because I have a mighty backlog.

Monday: "Green Cola", a suspicious beverage claiming to be made out of fruit.
Wednesday: Melon Float Soda, which I've had for quite a while now.
Friday: SUIKA SODA! The one that started it all... sort of.

I'm pumped. Are you?